Finding a roommate may sound simple, but anyone who’s lived with the wrong person knows the truth. The challenge isn’t finding a roommate, it’s finding one that you can actually live with day in and day out.
In this post, we share six frank questions you should ask roommate candidates before you commit to sharing a rental home or apartment.
We’ll also provide a map showing the most in-demand rental cities, a real-life rental FAQ, and a home affordability calculator so you can gauge how soon you may be able to stop paying a landlord.
Discover How Much Home You Can Afford With Our Home Affordability Calculator
Understand the costs associated with buying a home and find out what safe budgeting looks like.
6 questions to ask a potential roommate (to avoid mayhem)
Here are some questions that can help you figure out whether someone is a healthy match for your space and your sanity.
1. What’s your real schedule (not your ideal one)?
Turn this into a short set of follow-up questions. Ask about work hours, school hours, sleep habits, weekends, and what might increase their noise levels. For example, someone who loves midnight gaming sessions may not blend well with your daily routine if you’re an early-morning gym person.
2. How do you handle money, bills, and due dates?
Talk openly about how the rent will get paid every month, when utilities are due, and how shared expenses like Wi-Fi and streaming services will be split. But also ask about household supplies, like toilet paper, laundry detergent, and shared food or groceries. Go a step further and ask what they think should happen if someone comes up short.
3. What does “clean” actually mean to you?
Ask how often they clean, how the daily, weekly, and monthly chores should be divided, and what level of mess they feel is acceptable in your shared spaces. Have them provide examples of their cleanliness pet peeves and what they think is an okay level of filth. For example, do they think dishes should be washed right away, or is the sink a temporary storage bin?
4. How often do you host friends, overnight guests, or “partners”?
This may be a bit uncomfortable, but you should ask the roommate candidate to describe what they think are acceptable visitor stay timelines and scenarios. And what do they expect from you when people come over, especially if they are staying overnight or longer? You don’t need strict rules, but you should understand each other’s comfort levels and know — and respect — each other’s boundaries.
5. Have you lived with roommates before? What worked (or didn’t)?
Ask this question and then listen carefully. The candidate’s answer may reveal telltale patterns. For example, if all they talk about are negative experiences or stories about how bad their past roommates were, this may be a red flag. If they had a bad experience, can the candidate express what they might have done to make it better?
6. What happens if one of us needs to move out early?
This is another subject that may feel somewhat awkward, but it’s important to broach right up front. Ask the candidate to describe a situation where they think an early move-out would be acceptable, and situations where it’s not. Also, ask them to tell you about how much notice they think is fair, or what they believe is a good backup plan.
Bonus step most renters skip: A compatibility gut-check
Each of the questions above can help you predict what the logistics of the roommate relationship might look like, but there is another litmus test — the vibe you feel when you’re asking them. After the conversation, ask yourself this inward question: Would living with this person feel easy or exhausting?
If something feels off, you should trust your instincts. The right roommate situation should feel comfortable from the start, not like something you have to convince yourself will work.
The most in-demand rental cities in the U.S.
The interactive map below, provided by RentCafe, shows the most in-demand locations for renter engagement in the 150 largest U.S. cities. Hover over a city to see how it ranks in terms of intensity of apartment-hunting activity and its “REnT” (Renter Engagement Tracker) score.
Roommate FAQs for real life (not just the lease)
Where’s the best place to find a compatible roommate?
To start your search, you might consider roommate-matching apps such as Roomi, Roomster, SpareRoom, and Cirtru. There are also local social media groups and school- and workplace-based networks designed to help find roommates. And, of course, personal connections, which often feel safer because you have mutual contacts and possibly a shared history, which can mean fewer surprises. No matter where you look, meet in a public place first and confirm references.
What are the biggest red flags of a bad roommate?
As you ask our recommended vetting questions, watch for vague answers about money, reluctance to discuss cleaning or guests, inconsistent stories, or pressure to move quickly without details. Good roommates are usually good communicators, honest, and willing to plan ahead. The best roommates will also have a visible track record of positive relationships and a strong work or school history.
Do I really need a roommate agreement in writing?
If things are not already spelled out in a shared lease contract, a simple written agreement can prevent conflicts and misunderstandings. Both parties can agree in writing on the amount of rent they are responsible for, utilities, chores, guests, and move-out expectations. It can protect both of you and help avoid damaged friendships.
What’s the secret to a peaceful roommate relationship?
Clear, honest communication and mutual respect matter more than whether you have shared interests or friends. These qualities are often manifested in simple actions: checking in occasionally, addressing small issues early, and respecting each other’s space and privacy.
Is living with roommates actually helping me financially?
How much you save by having a roommate depends on where you are renting. For example, according to SmartAsset data, the average two-bedroom apartment in Cleveland, Ohio, is currently only $50 more than a one-bedroom rental ($1,400 and $1,350, respectively). Sharing an apartment with a roommate in New York City saves about $1,670 per month, while splitting a two-bedroom apartment in Tucson, Arizona, will only save you about $285 per month.
How can I prepare to become a homeowner and eventually live solo?
As you look ahead, you can stack your future homeownership deck by paying rent on time, saving consistently, and being realistic about what you can afford. As your finances become more stable, you can begin exploring home prices in your desired buying area.
Thinking beyond roommates: Your path to your own place
Roommates can be a helpful short-term strategy, especially when housing costs are high or your income is limited. But they can also be part of a bigger plan: giving you time to save and strengthen your credit so you can eventually own a home.
If you’re wondering what it will take to make a move, try HomeLight’s home affordability calculator below.
To learn more, visit HomeLight’s Homebuyer Resource Center, where you can search for answers to other homebuying questions.
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