Finding the right roommate can make all the difference in your living experience. From friends and acquaintances to fellow college students, there are many people you could potentially share your home with, so it’s essential to ask the right questions. So whether you’re looking for a roommate to share your cozy apartment in Austin, TX with, or you need help managing the mortgage on your house in San Diego, Redfin compiled some questions to ask potential roommates to find out if they’re a good fit.
Questions to ask potential roommates about expectations
Setting clear expectations is an important part of any successful relationship, and this especially applies to living with roommates. If you’re going to share a living space with someone, it’s important that you’re clear on each other’s expectations so there are no surprises later on.
1. What are your dealbreakers or pet peeves?
It’s important to find out before it’s too late. Do they expect their space to be orderly at all times? Do they hate the smell of cologne? Be sure to pick up on any hints about the habits of a potential roommate that might align with one of your pet peeves, too. Everyone has their quirks, and sometimes you have to compromise.
2. How do you feel about sharing?
Be sure you’re on the same page when it comes to sharing anything, from clothes to groceries. Some people like to keep all their belongings to themselves, others don’t mind sharing things here and there. Also, think about shared spaces. How do you designate drawers in the bathroom or space in the fridge? Or, would you both be okay making those spaces more communal?
3. What’s your confrontation style?
Disagreements happen and will likely occur when sharing a space with someone. Establish an effective way to resolve conflict when it arises and before a situation escalates.
CoHousing Houston, an urban village in East End suggests asking yourself, “Am I willing to trade a little bit of convenience for a whole lot of connection?” They go on to say, “Sharing space with people means you might not get to have things exactly your way all the time, but it also means that you won’t suffer from isolation or loneliness.”
4. How do you cope with stress?
You’ll likely see your roommate at their worst, and it’s crucial for you both to know how to react and how one another can support each other. Some people require personal space, and others prefer to talk things out.
5. What temperature do you prefer to set the thermostat to?
An uncomfortably hot or cold home is impossible to ignore, and since people have different preferences on how to set the thermostat, it’s important to communicate your preferences early. The last thing you want is a constant battle to control your home’s climate. A little compromise will go a long way in ensuring a peaceful living situation.
6. What’s your worst habit?
This question goes hand-in-hand with the first one. Maybe your potential roommate has a habit of leaving dirty clothes in the bathroom, not cleaning up after themselves in the kitchen, or even forgetting to lock doors. If these are dealbreakers for you, it’s a good sign that you aren’t compatible. Feel free to share your worst habit, too.
7. How do you decompress after a long day?
Everyone has their strategies for decompressing after a stressful day. Do they take a nap or go for a long run? Binge-watch their favorite show or relax their mind with some meditation? Stake out your rituals early and accommodate as necessary.
8. Do you have any food restrictions or allergies?
Be aware of a potential roommate’s dietary restrictions. If you can’t live without peanut butter, but your roommate is severely allergic, living together might not be the best choice. Be sure to disclose all allergies and restrictions upfront.
Questions to ask potential roommates about their lifestyle
When it comes to questions to ask potential roommates, it’s important to have a solid understanding of how they want to spend their time in your shared space. Your lifestyles don’t have to align perfectly, but asking these questions can help you avoid potential conflicts.
9. Are you still friends with your old roommates?
Not being best friends with former roommates isn’t necessarily cause for concern. Disagreements happen, after all. However, if a potential new roommate has nothing but negative experiences to share about former roommates, that might be a red flag. If they seem hesitant about answering this question, this can also be a bad sign, and it’s best to carry on your search to find a good roommate. Now’s the time to also ask about any references or ex-roommates you can speak to.
10. What do you like to do in your free time?
The answer to this question can tell you whether this person is generally a homebody or likes to spend their time away from home. If you enjoy hosting get-togethers or other in-home activities such as cooking or painting, try to work out a schedule so you and your roommate’s events don’t coincide with one another. You might discover that you have common interests and can establish a connection around that.
11. Do you drink or smoke?
Smoking and drinking can be a deal-breaker, so it’s essential for both of you to be open about this. If you prefer a smoke-free environment, you might want to consider adding a clause in your agreement stating that smoking is prohibited inside the apartment. Set ground rules around drinking, too. Discuss your drinking habits so you can find a balance that suits all parties involved. Even if you’re okay with smoking and drinking, consider setting ground rules around both.
12. How often do you have friends over?
Do they host dinner parties, have friends over all weekend, or bring their friends over during work? Know each other’s schedules and social habits to know if they’ll fit with your lifestyle.
13. Do you have pets?
Renting with pets has its pros and cons. If you or your prospective roommate owns a pet, always comply with your building’s pet policy. Sometimes pets aren’t allowed, period.
Find apartments or rental units that allow pets if you or a prospective roommate have any. Even pet-friendly buildings sometimes have certain restrictions, such as breed type, dog size, and the number of pets. Also take pet allergies into consideration when choosing a roommate.
If a potential roommate already has a pet, be sure to meet them before moving in together. Lastly, it’s important to talk about pet-related financial obligations, rules, and responsibilities. Will the pet be allowed on all the furniture? Will you both be responsible for taking the dog on walks or cleaning out the litter box?
14. How often do you travel?
This is a great question to gauge how often you’ll actually be sharing your living space with the other person. If you value your alone time, finding a roommate who frequently travels for business or visits family often might be the way to go.
15. Have you ever been arrested?
If someone answers “yes” to this question, you can’t assume they’re a bad person or wouldn’t be a great roommate. Just make sure you get the full story before signing the lease.
Questions to ask potential roommates about their habits and routines
Good questions to ask potential roommates should also help you learn about their day-to-day routine. If their day-to-day activities interfere with yours, you may be forced to consider someone else or find a way to compromise.
16. What is your typical routine? Are you a morning person or a night owl?
Are the hours past midnight their time to blast music? Do they eat dinner extremely late or make breakfast before the sun rises? Or perhaps they hop on the treadmill at 4 a.m. to get a sweat on before the workday. You and your potential roommate’s schedules don’t need to be identical, but if they’re different enough, you’ll need to learn how to accommodate each other’s routines and probably make sacrifices.
17. What time do you go to bed and wake up?
Although your schedules don’t have to align perfectly, it’s good for you and your roommate to understand each other’s sleep schedules. An early riser’s morning routine might wake you up unexpectedly if you’re a late riser. If you have differing schedules, make sure it isn’t to the point where it interferes with you getting the rest you need.
18. What are your cleaning habits and routines?
Cleaning is arguably one of the most important subjects. In fact, it’s one of the most common reasons why conflicts arise among roommates. Do they put away dishes after each use? Wipe kitchen and bathroom countertops down? Vacuum regularly? Which household chores do they despise? Which ones do you loathe? Learn about their cleaning habits so you can split up cleaning chores and split tasks accordingly.
19. Do you work from home? What is your typical workday schedule?
We’re in the work-from-home era, and there are definitely pros and cons to having someone in the apartment all day. The electric and water bills may be higher for sure. However, having someone around to accept deliveries or be home for any home services or repairs is convenient.
Questions to ask potential roommates about finances
Some of the most important roommate questions revolve around finances. Finding out whether your potential roommate can consistently pay rent on time should play a major role in whether you decide to let them move in with you.
20. What’s the max you can spend on rent? Can you put part of the deposit down?
Rent increases are very common at the end of a lease cycle, so it’s important to find out whether your future roommate will be able to pay their share. Find out if they can split the security deposit, along with the first and last month’s rent.
21. How will you pay for rent?
You don’t want to be late paying rent or end up paying your roommate’s portion of rent because they can’t afford it. Be sure to find out if they have a steady source of income to pay for rent or if they’ll need a cosigner. You can even ask for references from previous roommates or see a pay stub.
22. Are you OK splitting utilities evenly?
It might not be worth the trouble if your prospective roommate is going to keep track of who uses more water or power. The apartment utilities cost can vary by building, city, and month. Find out if they’re comfortable splitting utilities down the middle.
23. Have you ever struggled to pay rent on time?
If your potential roommate has ever been in a situation where they couldn’t pay rent, knowing the story and how they handled the situation will tell you a lot about how a similar situation will unfold if it happens again.
Questions to ask potential roommates about compatibility
24. What do you want in a roommate? Are you looking for a new friend or just a roommate?
Be sure you are on the same page about your roommate relationship. If one of you is looking for a new best friend while the other prefers to keep their distance, the situation could end up rocky. Learn their expectations of the living arrangement.
25. Do you have any references?
This is typically already a requirement from the landlord or property manager, so it shouldn’t be too much of a hassle for your potential roommate to provide references. Past roommates, landlords, co-workers, employers, and family friends are all great resources. Ask for their phone numbers and emails.
26. What are some challenges you’ve faced in past living situations?
Noisy neighbors, lack of hot water, negligent landlords, and mold infestations are tough situations to deal with. Find out if they’ve ever faced a challenge like this and how they handled it. It can enlighten you on how they’ll handle less-than-perfect circumstances that may occur in the future.
27. Do you think we’d get along?
Your prospective roommate needs to be on board just as much as you are, and if they can’t see you two getting along, it might be time to keep looking.
28. Is there anything else I should know?
This open-ended question can reveal a lot about a person. This can reveal other habits, hobbies, or expectations that weren’t mentioned in previous conversations.
Questions to ask potential college roommates
If you’re a student living on or near campus, you’ll likely have to share an apartment or dorm with a fellow student. Although you might not have as much flexibility to choose a roommate, asking the right questions can help set expectations and help you get to know each other. Consider some questions to ask potential roommates for college.
29. What’s your major?
Asking about your roommate’s major may seem like just an icebreaker, but this simple question can provide some value as well. If you both share the same area of study, then your roommate can double as a study partner. You can even coordinate schedules and take the same classes.
30. When do you like to study?
Understanding when you prefer to study can help you schedule certain activities throughout the day. Your roommate will probably avoid blasting music in the afternoon or watching their favorite show at full volume if they know that you typically study during that time.
31. What are you most looking forward to in college?
This question can go a long way in figuring out what your roommate’s goals and priorities are while you’re in college together. If they’re most excited for social gatherings and parties, then you might not see them around as much on weekends, meaning more time to yourself in your dorm or apartment.
32. Are you participating in any clubs or sports?
Asking about outside activities is another way to get an idea of how much time you’ll get to yourself in your dorm. A roommate with a busy schedule likely won’t spend much time in the dorms, so this might be an ideal scenario if you value your alone time.
Selecting a roommate is no easy task, but asking the right questions can ensure a successful search. Ideally, you want to end up with someone you are compatible enough to share a small space with. Asking potential roommates these questions is an essential part of the process and may determine your contentment at home. Be thorough, pay attention, and listen to your gut.
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